Jimmah "Emu" Clausen Quits Notre Dame to Become Confections Vendor

South Bend (IN) 11:56 AM

Jimmah "Emu" Clausen has formally announced his resignation from the Notre Dame football team to "pursue his childhood dream peddling confections". "I just got a sweet deal on this van, man, like only $500, dude" quoted Clausen. When asked about how he came upon $500 he said something about preists and the rectory, but his speech was was muffled by a slurping sound. Clausen's coach, Jabba the Weis, said that Jimmah would be missed, but was happy that his former quarterback offered him 5-lbs of free taffy and "sloppy seconds".