Pick/ Counter Pick: Week 10
Pick: Upset special!
Counter Pick: Im brewing my Holiday Solstice Ale tomorrow. It will be tasty and strong!
#23 Faux Hawk (6-2) -3.0 @ Misiginatin' Cat Bears on Meth (5-2).
Bastard: South Florida has steady been crushing foes and Cincinnati has a weak line. This one looks to be a cruise down the Ohio river for SF. BUT! Thursday night home underdog. The dogs are something like 98% ATS on Thursday nights and most even win (Oregon State, TCU). In spite of all evidence, you don't mess with a streak. Cincy 21-20. Confidence 11.
Hemlock philosopher: You're right, don't mess with a streak. But much like the Phillies ended 28 years of World Series' no goes and losses, USF will end the home dawgs streak. USF 28-13. Confidence 12.
Piss on Sin (4-4) @ #21 You're still little brother (7-2) -4.5.
Bastard: Sparty just beat a limp Michigan team for the first time since the 90's. That thing in 2002 doesn't count, they cheated. What happens to the Sparties after the Michigan game, win or lose, is well documented. They turn yellow like the leaves and fall face first into a lower tier bowl. Wisconsin just put an end to their WTF four game skid against Illinois and seem to back. Wisconsin stops Ringer and delivers the upset special. UW 27-24. Confidence 7.
Hemlock Philosopher: Sparty comes in at 5-4 ATS, while the disappointing Badgers come in at 3-5. The BADgers are 1-9 in their last 10 roadies ATS. MSU will likely be riding high after the victory in AA last week. This is a noon game and the hangover may still be around from the EL party scene. I look for a sluggish start from little brother, but a strong finish. MSU 27-21. Confidence 11.
Cocaines (5-3) @ Crapiliers (5-2) -1.0.
Bastard: Whatever happened to UVa sucking? They narrowly defeat the spida's of Richmond then go on an ACC path o' destruction. Miami brings to town a fast, young D and an emerging offense. Virginia will play a mistake free game, Miami wont. It will be barely enough to overcome the disparity in talent. UVa 15, Miami 13 (because I have to pick a winner). Confidence 13.
Hemlock Philosopher: Miami is a very young team and this is a roadie. Good thing that it's a noon start. Miami is a much faster team and is strong on defense. I will go with them - close. Miami 17-16. Confidence 10.
Michigan (2-6) @ Purdump (2-6) (-1.5).
Bastard: A cripple fight at the bottom of the big ten. Michigan has an offense that is beautiful when it works – albeit way too efficient. Unfortunately for Mich, that offense is only good for three scores per game. Purdue, brings a solid D and a really crappy offense. Look for this to be a cripple fight with Michigan scoring 3 times and purdue scoring once. Michigan 9, Purdump 7. Confidence 8.
Hemlock Philosopher: As soon as I got my head out of my ass, I started winning locks by picking against Michigan. This hedge has done nothing for my ill feeling about this team, so I will temporarily go back to picking the Wolverines. Michigan 82-0. Confidence 2.
Power Katz (4-4) @ Sitting Jays (5-3) -11.0.
Bastard: In a game that is much the opposite of the Michigan/Purdump game, Two explosive offenses face off. Both teams have flaccid Ds as OU and TT showed last week. Both teams would have given up 70 if their opponents didn't show mercy. This will be a fun one. Look for KSU to tire out earlier than KU. KU 56- KSU 42. Confidence 3.
Hemlock Philosopher: There is no defense for having no defense. I think KStizzle keeps it close enough to make it a game, until they get fucked up and lose just like the bastard said. KU 45-30. Confidence 6.
Shittsburgh (5-2) @ Notre Damn (5-2) (-5.5).
Bastard: In a battle to get re-ranked, Pittsburgh visits ND, bringing a solid running game but also a disaster against a return to reality Rutger's team. Notre Dame hasn't played anyone with a pulse, but they've done what they've needed to do and just won. Their return to glory continues, but only with a 3 point win. ND 23-Pitt 20. Confidence 5.
Hemlock Philosopher: Pitt just got clowned by Buttgars. Notre Damn, big. ND 33-17. Confidence 3.
#24 Addited to Quack (6-2) @ Go Back to Cali (5-2) (-3.0)
Bastard: The resurgent ducks bring the quack to the golden bears in an historically good game. This is the Pac-10, so don't expect any defense. Both teams have been flying under the radar with early losses. One will emerge from this game as the challenger to USC – then, they'll get the boot to the neck. Oregon played it close with Purdue, then got crushed by the blue veins. Cal had a WTF cross country trip up at MD, but has been solid ever since only losing to a quality Arizona squad. Look for them to win a close one over Oregon 34-30. Confidence 12.
Hemlock Philosopher: Yuck, duck do do. Cali has been skating by unnoticed and has been a totally different game on the road. The Ducks are going down to Berkeley and will lose. Cal 28-27. Confidence 9
#8 kcUF (6-1) -5.5 vs. #6 UGlAy Dog (7-1) @Jacksonville.
Bastard: That's a ridiculous line. Both teams are dominant on offense – just ask LSU. Florida shows a bit more on D, but really not that much more. The SEC is notorious for close games and this one has been a fight over the years. Florida QB Tebag gets some help from Jesus – the Hispanic ref – but doesn't cover. kcUF 26 – 24. Confidence 2.
Hemlock Philosopher: Ever since Florida got bitch-slapped by Red Neck w/ Rifle, they have been on a mission (no not a pedophilic trip to Indonesia, a war mission). Georgia has been playing up and down, losing their last three ATS before hammering a porous LSU D. Florida has pay back on it's mind and shall get it. Florida Drinking Cocktails, 38-28. Confidence 5.
Iow-GAY (5-3) @ [Name Redacted] (4-4) -1.5.
Bastard: Neither team has played anybody worth note. Both teams are mediocre and the game will reflect that. Doing a common opponent analysis brings up the Jeckyl and Hyde Wisconsin, who got dominated by Iowa and beat Illinois. I have to believe that Illinois does indeed suck, but only because I hate those fuckers. Iowa wins 31-20. Confidence 4.
Hemlock Philosopher: Oh, who gives a shit? These teams suck ass. I'll go with Iowa 38-30. Confidence 8.
#15 FSU (6-1) @ GT (6-2) -1.0.
Bastard: Hey looky here. FSU has gotten up to #15 with a mostly cream filled schedule. They're still 1 pt dogs at GT, who has blossomed under the tutelage of Paul Johnson and the triple option. You can see by the line that FSU is not getting the respect from Vegas that their name gets them in the polls. They're going to earn it with a good show. FSU 34 – GT 21. Confidence 10.
Hemlock Philosopher: FSU is too fast and strong to lose this one. I like them to beat GT with a more potent offense, the one that has been back on the scene except for versus WF. FSU 29-21. Confidence 4.
#117 Wazzou (1-666) @ #116 Stanford (1-50) -30.0.
Bastard: Holy crap this is worse than picking on the hypothetical Arkon @ Arkon match-up. Seriously, WTF? Wazzou has been giving up record numbers of points to all comers. Their defense is like a washed up 40 yr old porn star with a coke addiction – all comers can have their way any hole for only pennies extra! Stanford is the nerdy kid who has never scored but who's friends just bought him a 30th birthday gift. Stan, meet Wazzou Whoppers, she'll show you a good time. Stan 52, WW 20. Confidence 6.
Hemlock Philosopher: I am not even going to think about this game. I defer to the Bastard. Confidence: 13.
#1 Texas (8-0) -6.0 @ #5 Texas Tech (8-0)
Bastard: Talk about a game that is going to be far different from that crap above. Texas didn't cover a line for the first time this year against TDH as Colt McCoy had a few mistakes late in the game. Texas Tech walked all over Kansas and could have scored a c-note, but they played it nice in the 2nd half. Tech needs this one badly to call it a rivalry with Texas and this is the last hurdle until the B12 championship for UT. Look for points and lots of 'em! Texas is slightly better on paper and brings a revived D. TT has the emotion and the momentum. Look for them to cover. Texas wins by 3. UT 45 – 42. Confidence 9.
Hemlock Philosopher: This is a hell of a match-up. Texas has covered the last 5 times versus TT and are 3-2 ATS at Lubbock. This is described as the biggest game in Lubbock, evAR. I believe the frozen tortillas will be flying as Texas solidifies it's national championship hopes with a big win on the plains. Texas 52-35. Confidence 7.
Corn (5-3) @ #4 Boomer Sooner (7-1) -21.5
Bastard: Don't look now, but OU has a chance for the Big12 south, if Texas can trip against TT and someone else and OU can beat Tech. OU would be the best bet for a return to the MNC. They'll leave no doubt as they hope for UT to lose. The black shirts are not back. Nebraska has shown that it can score though. Look for a repeat of the KSU/OU game. OU gets the extra point in the 1st half and goes yeerd! OU 63, Nebraska 31. Confidence 1. Lock it.
Hemlock Philosopher: OU has no chance to win the B12 South. Texas, even if it loses to TT has a too easy of a schedule to get passed by TT. Still, Oklahoma is like a giant bug zapper and Nebraska is like a moth on D - light confuses them. OU, big. 55-14. Lock.
Hey, looky here. Due to Matt's love of washed up porn stars, we're picking on different games in the MichPharm and IllChem leagues. Bonus Footbah!
Northwestern (6-2) @ #17 Minnesota (7-1) (-6.5) Are you sure that's not 1-7? In one of the most monumental turnarounds in big ten history, Minnesota has risen from the ashes. Instead of getting pie in the face against cream puffs, they're back to eating them. Northwester comes in with plenty of senior leadership and a couple of injuries. Back-up Omar Conteh has to come through or else its going to be gophers eating cats and that's just not natural. Look for a pillow fight game, but with implications in the big ten race. Minnesota 22 – 20.
HP Bonus: Northworstern
West Virginia (5-2) (-4.0) @ #25 Uconn (5-2). I pick opposite of HP. Uconn is getting no respek at home against a WVU team that is vastly superior to the way they've played. Just ask Auburn. Both teams are all over the place. I look for UConn to be severely overmatched, yet find a way to win most likely on a bone headed clock management guffaw. Puke-on yak 27-26.
HP Bonus #2: WVa
Counter Pick: Im brewing my Holiday Solstice Ale tomorrow. It will be tasty and strong!
#23 Faux Hawk (6-2) -3.0 @ Misiginatin' Cat Bears on Meth (5-2).
Bastard: South Florida has steady been crushing foes and Cincinnati has a weak line. This one looks to be a cruise down the Ohio river for SF. BUT! Thursday night home underdog. The dogs are something like 98% ATS on Thursday nights and most even win (Oregon State, TCU). In spite of all evidence, you don't mess with a streak. Cincy 21-20. Confidence 11.
Hemlock philosopher: You're right, don't mess with a streak. But much like the Phillies ended 28 years of World Series' no goes and losses, USF will end the home dawgs streak. USF 28-13. Confidence 12.
Piss on Sin (4-4) @ #21 You're still little brother (7-2) -4.5.
Bastard: Sparty just beat a limp Michigan team for the first time since the 90's. That thing in 2002 doesn't count, they cheated. What happens to the Sparties after the Michigan game, win or lose, is well documented. They turn yellow like the leaves and fall face first into a lower tier bowl. Wisconsin just put an end to their WTF four game skid against Illinois and seem to back. Wisconsin stops Ringer and delivers the upset special. UW 27-24. Confidence 7.
Hemlock Philosopher: Sparty comes in at 5-4 ATS, while the disappointing Badgers come in at 3-5. The BADgers are 1-9 in their last 10 roadies ATS. MSU will likely be riding high after the victory in AA last week. This is a noon game and the hangover may still be around from the EL party scene. I look for a sluggish start from little brother, but a strong finish. MSU 27-21. Confidence 11.
Cocaines (5-3) @ Crapiliers (5-2) -1.0.
Bastard: Whatever happened to UVa sucking? They narrowly defeat the spida's of Richmond then go on an ACC path o' destruction. Miami brings to town a fast, young D and an emerging offense. Virginia will play a mistake free game, Miami wont. It will be barely enough to overcome the disparity in talent. UVa 15, Miami 13 (because I have to pick a winner). Confidence 13.
Hemlock Philosopher: Miami is a very young team and this is a roadie. Good thing that it's a noon start. Miami is a much faster team and is strong on defense. I will go with them - close. Miami 17-16. Confidence 10.
Michigan (2-6) @ Purdump (2-6) (-1.5).
Bastard: A cripple fight at the bottom of the big ten. Michigan has an offense that is beautiful when it works – albeit way too efficient. Unfortunately for Mich, that offense is only good for three scores per game. Purdue, brings a solid D and a really crappy offense. Look for this to be a cripple fight with Michigan scoring 3 times and purdue scoring once. Michigan 9, Purdump 7. Confidence 8.
Hemlock Philosopher: As soon as I got my head out of my ass, I started winning locks by picking against Michigan. This hedge has done nothing for my ill feeling about this team, so I will temporarily go back to picking the Wolverines. Michigan 82-0. Confidence 2.
Power Katz (4-4) @ Sitting Jays (5-3) -11.0.
Bastard: In a game that is much the opposite of the Michigan/Purdump game, Two explosive offenses face off. Both teams have flaccid Ds as OU and TT showed last week. Both teams would have given up 70 if their opponents didn't show mercy. This will be a fun one. Look for KSU to tire out earlier than KU. KU 56- KSU 42. Confidence 3.
Hemlock Philosopher: There is no defense for having no defense. I think KStizzle keeps it close enough to make it a game, until they get fucked up and lose just like the bastard said. KU 45-30. Confidence 6.
Shittsburgh (5-2) @ Notre Damn (5-2) (-5.5).
Bastard: In a battle to get re-ranked, Pittsburgh visits ND, bringing a solid running game but also a disaster against a return to reality Rutger's team. Notre Dame hasn't played anyone with a pulse, but they've done what they've needed to do and just won. Their return to glory continues, but only with a 3 point win. ND 23-Pitt 20. Confidence 5.
Hemlock Philosopher: Pitt just got clowned by Buttgars. Notre Damn, big. ND 33-17. Confidence 3.
#24 Addited to Quack (6-2) @ Go Back to Cali (5-2) (-3.0)
Bastard: The resurgent ducks bring the quack to the golden bears in an historically good game. This is the Pac-10, so don't expect any defense. Both teams have been flying under the radar with early losses. One will emerge from this game as the challenger to USC – then, they'll get the boot to the neck. Oregon played it close with Purdue, then got crushed by the blue veins. Cal had a WTF cross country trip up at MD, but has been solid ever since only losing to a quality Arizona squad. Look for them to win a close one over Oregon 34-30. Confidence 12.
Hemlock Philosopher: Yuck, duck do do. Cali has been skating by unnoticed and has been a totally different game on the road. The Ducks are going down to Berkeley and will lose. Cal 28-27. Confidence 9
#8 kcUF (6-1) -5.5 vs. #6 UGlAy Dog (7-1) @Jacksonville.
Bastard: That's a ridiculous line. Both teams are dominant on offense – just ask LSU. Florida shows a bit more on D, but really not that much more. The SEC is notorious for close games and this one has been a fight over the years. Florida QB Tebag gets some help from Jesus – the Hispanic ref – but doesn't cover. kcUF 26 – 24. Confidence 2.
Hemlock Philosopher: Ever since Florida got bitch-slapped by Red Neck w/ Rifle, they have been on a mission (no not a pedophilic trip to Indonesia, a war mission). Georgia has been playing up and down, losing their last three ATS before hammering a porous LSU D. Florida has pay back on it's mind and shall get it. Florida Drinking Cocktails, 38-28. Confidence 5.
Iow-GAY (5-3) @ [Name Redacted] (4-4) -1.5.
Bastard: Neither team has played anybody worth note. Both teams are mediocre and the game will reflect that. Doing a common opponent analysis brings up the Jeckyl and Hyde Wisconsin, who got dominated by Iowa and beat Illinois. I have to believe that Illinois does indeed suck, but only because I hate those fuckers. Iowa wins 31-20. Confidence 4.
Hemlock Philosopher: Oh, who gives a shit? These teams suck ass. I'll go with Iowa 38-30. Confidence 8.
#15 FSU (6-1) @ GT (6-2) -1.0.
Bastard: Hey looky here. FSU has gotten up to #15 with a mostly cream filled schedule. They're still 1 pt dogs at GT, who has blossomed under the tutelage of Paul Johnson and the triple option. You can see by the line that FSU is not getting the respect from Vegas that their name gets them in the polls. They're going to earn it with a good show. FSU 34 – GT 21. Confidence 10.
Hemlock Philosopher: FSU is too fast and strong to lose this one. I like them to beat GT with a more potent offense, the one that has been back on the scene except for versus WF. FSU 29-21. Confidence 4.
#117 Wazzou (1-666) @ #116 Stanford (1-50) -30.0.
Bastard: Holy crap this is worse than picking on the hypothetical Arkon @ Arkon match-up. Seriously, WTF? Wazzou has been giving up record numbers of points to all comers. Their defense is like a washed up 40 yr old porn star with a coke addiction – all comers can have their way any hole for only pennies extra! Stanford is the nerdy kid who has never scored but who's friends just bought him a 30th birthday gift. Stan, meet Wazzou Whoppers, she'll show you a good time. Stan 52, WW 20. Confidence 6.
Hemlock Philosopher: I am not even going to think about this game. I defer to the Bastard. Confidence: 13.
#1 Texas (8-0) -6.0 @ #5 Texas Tech (8-0)
Bastard: Talk about a game that is going to be far different from that crap above. Texas didn't cover a line for the first time this year against TDH as Colt McCoy had a few mistakes late in the game. Texas Tech walked all over Kansas and could have scored a c-note, but they played it nice in the 2nd half. Tech needs this one badly to call it a rivalry with Texas and this is the last hurdle until the B12 championship for UT. Look for points and lots of 'em! Texas is slightly better on paper and brings a revived D. TT has the emotion and the momentum. Look for them to cover. Texas wins by 3. UT 45 – 42. Confidence 9.
Hemlock Philosopher: This is a hell of a match-up. Texas has covered the last 5 times versus TT and are 3-2 ATS at Lubbock. This is described as the biggest game in Lubbock, evAR. I believe the frozen tortillas will be flying as Texas solidifies it's national championship hopes with a big win on the plains. Texas 52-35. Confidence 7.
Corn (5-3) @ #4 Boomer Sooner (7-1) -21.5
Bastard: Don't look now, but OU has a chance for the Big12 south, if Texas can trip against TT and someone else and OU can beat Tech. OU would be the best bet for a return to the MNC. They'll leave no doubt as they hope for UT to lose. The black shirts are not back. Nebraska has shown that it can score though. Look for a repeat of the KSU/OU game. OU gets the extra point in the 1st half and goes yeerd! OU 63, Nebraska 31. Confidence 1. Lock it.
Hemlock Philosopher: OU has no chance to win the B12 South. Texas, even if it loses to TT has a too easy of a schedule to get passed by TT. Still, Oklahoma is like a giant bug zapper and Nebraska is like a moth on D - light confuses them. OU, big. 55-14. Lock.
Hey, looky here. Due to Matt's love of washed up porn stars, we're picking on different games in the MichPharm and IllChem leagues. Bonus Footbah!
Northwestern (6-2) @ #17 Minnesota (7-1) (-6.5) Are you sure that's not 1-7? In one of the most monumental turnarounds in big ten history, Minnesota has risen from the ashes. Instead of getting pie in the face against cream puffs, they're back to eating them. Northwester comes in with plenty of senior leadership and a couple of injuries. Back-up Omar Conteh has to come through or else its going to be gophers eating cats and that's just not natural. Look for a pillow fight game, but with implications in the big ten race. Minnesota 22 – 20.
HP Bonus: Northworstern
West Virginia (5-2) (-4.0) @ #25 Uconn (5-2). I pick opposite of HP. Uconn is getting no respek at home against a WVU team that is vastly superior to the way they've played. Just ask Auburn. Both teams are all over the place. I look for UConn to be severely overmatched, yet find a way to win most likely on a bone headed clock management guffaw. Puke-on yak 27-26.
HP Bonus #2: WVa
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